Rebuilding Your Circle - Part 4
Hi there friends -
In today's edition of "Wellness Insights" we are previewing Part 4 of "Rebuilding Your Circle" a guide for those who have lost their primary social network. Whether you find yourself with an empty nest, settling into retirement, or suddenly single in midlife, rebuilding a network where you feel like you belong is essential for your long-term health and happiness. If you missed previous editions please visit my website where my "Wellness Insights" are posted. https://rhendahodnett.com/blog.
The first three steps in this process focused on creating the right mindset before you begin rebuilding your social network; now it's time for action. We'll start with a soft re-entry, finding low pressure ways to practice social skills again.
Let's begin by identifying the type of social skills that feel (or used to feel) natural to you. Are you great at active listening - giving full attention when others speak? Offering help or support when someone is struggling? Making others feel welcome in group settings?
Here's your 5 minute challenge: choose ONE of these low-stakes social interactions just to get back into practice. Remind yourself of the social skills that come naturally to you and plan to use them in one of these situations.
Call a family member or old friend just to check in
Have a brief conversation with a neighbor
Chat with a cashier or service person beyond just the transaction
Comment meaningfully on someone's social media post
Send a text to someone you've been thinking about
Next, let's identify what feels most challenging to you? Is it initiating conversations with strangers? Maintaining boundaries while still being open and friendly? Sharing personal information or allowing yourself to be vulnerable?
Pick one social skill that feels challenging and break it up into "micro-steps" so practicing it feels less intimidating. For instance, you might practice initiating conversations with strangers by first just making an observation. I was recently waiting in line for a table at a restaurant. I struck up a conversation with first just making an observation - "It sure feels good in here after being out in the heat." Once you feel comfortable making an observation, practice adding a simple question, "Have you eaten here before?" Finally, practice adding an open ended question such as "What's your favorite dish here?"
Social skills are like muscles—they strengthen with gentle, consistent use, so when I work with clients 1:1 we practice these exercises together and discuss what felt natural, and what felt rusty? What would you do differently next time? What was easier than you expected, etc.?
Next week in Part 5 of 7 we plan to strategically outreach in order to begin building our new circle. Until then, give yourself grace, and share this with a friend who may benefit.
